How many times have we heard people describe a “perfect moment” or a “perfect occasion” when the stars aligned and all was right in the world? Only to later dismiss both the memory of that time and the person involved in the moment when they disappoint them. Many of us hold fantastic ideals of perfectionism but often in relationships these ideals are rooted in fairy tales and lies. Seeking perfection causes us to overlook the areas of our lives and relationships that are actually GOOD. How do we begin to accept that flawed humans can never arrive at perfection? How can we begin to accept and strive for good, healthy and whole relationships instead of unrealistic perfect ones?
Consider these 3 keys to a good (not perfect) relationship:
- Connect with the Creator – In our flesh, we are so far from perfect it’s scary, but when we develop a strong relationship with God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit we are able to recognize that through relationship with Him we are made perfect because we are not reliant on ourselves.
- Become a person who is self aware and forgiving – Be a person that understands your value and your flaws so that you hold yourself to a realistic standard. When we think too highly of ourselves or conversely, when we think of ourselves in ways that are self- deprecating, we will have unrealistic expectations of others. Learning to be forgiving of yourself and of your shortcomings without wallowing in your flaws will afford you the ability to do the same with others.
- Redefine perfection – Determine what are the most valuable qualities your mate has and focus your attention on those things. Your mate may not be the most physically fit or the most financially responsible or the timeliest but are they nurturing, caring and supporting? Do they exhibit love, patience and endurance? You will never have a perfect relationship but what you can have is a good relationship if you are willing to let go of perfectionism and embrace “good enough”.