We recently engaged in a conversation with someone in the gaming industry. As we made idle chit chat discussing careers relationships and the like we marveled at his candor as he discussed his life as somewhat of an endless adventure where he travels and parties and lives a “fantasy” lifestyle. He openly expressed that as a gamer who creates fantasy, he cannot afford an ordinary or mundane life, rather he remarked his life should imitate the art he makes. Life in the entertainment business can make the idea of fantasy becoming a reality viable. Attention, applause and adoration in abundance or rejection with no in between can cause a disconnection in the psyche that believes that one must perform well in order to receive love. It also can mistake love for a level of adoration that would be difficult to attain and maintain in a personal relationship where expectations of mutual respect and attention are present.
- Remember the cost of living the dream – In order for your career to be successful you had to hone your craft. Likewise in order for your relationship to be successful you have to put in the work. Spending time communicating and working out problems is all part of being in a relationship.
- Accepting all of you– Most people have split personalities, one that is present in their work environment and one that is present when they are home and around the people they love. When we accept that both personalities are truly who we are we can allow those closest to us to see all sides of ourselves. Become comfortable that you can still be you in both places and still be accepted, loved and appreciated without you needing to perform
- Share the dream-You and your spouse/mate should share in the dream. Neither of you should feel alone in a relationship you mutually agreed to be in. Further, neither of you should expect to be second to the dream. Think about how to make the dream an extension of your relationship instead of a hindrance. Enjoy the journey together. Never let your dreams eclipse your relationship. If being in a relationship requires a perpetual position on the sideline watching the one you love live life without you, you are out of position. You are simply a fan!