For some time now we have been going deep, dealing with topics that impact relationships for better or worse. Addressing challenging topics from infidelity to childlessness can leave you feeling spent. Therefore, we thought it was time to provide you with some perspectives that hopefully will give your relationship some life!! We are one of the first to tell couples that come to us for counseling, that it is important for them to get back to spending time just enjoying one another. One of the fundamental truths of life is that you cannot pour from an empty cup! If you do not create fun times together, moments of unabridged laughter and all out just great memories, you will not have any “reserves” when the major issues show up in your relationship so you absolutely must carve out time to just enjoy one another.
One of our favorite things to do together is travel. Whether it’s a quick getaway or a tropical week somewhere, traveling allows us that uninterrupted time to be away from the hustle and bustle of work, bills etc. and just get a moment to breathe! Usually by the time we get to go anywhere, we are so exhausted that the first day or so is about completely relaxing. However, after a little R&R it’s all about FUN! Now we know a few couples where traveling with each other is way more stressful than enjoyable (which is a whole other topic for a different article) but they enjoy activities like hiking, biking, fishing, running etc. The point is whatever “your thing” is, it is vitally important to the health of your relationship to make time to do it together and to ensure that you will do whatever possible to guard the time and make it valuable. We use long road trips as our time to have some of our hard conversations, but we ensure that when we get where we are going, we have a good time. The goal of doing things we love to do together is to guard that time and stay focused on US!!
If you are a couple who has not found your “thing”, make the effort to try some new things together until you discover what you like to do as a couple. Summertime is one of the best times to try outdoor activities, find a local food and wine festival, an outdoor movie night, concerts in the park, beach night bonfire, cooking classes, paint nights…. the list of things to enjoy is endless. Take the time to research and plan you will be surprised at what you can find.
Side note, you don’t need to let budget be a hindrance (especially if that is one of your issues) many activities are free or low cost. If you’re in a season where childcare is an issue, set aside one night when the kids have to shut it down early and you and your spouse break out a bottle of wine, some cards or a board game and play a game together. If you are too competitive and think this may not be a good start to a happy evening, try watching a movie together or just sit back, turn on the streaming music channel and snuggle up to listen to some music together. Better yet, find a comedy channel or a movie with your favorite comedian and enjoy some laughs together. Whatever you do, make it meaningful by staying connected to the moment (this is not the time to rehash last week’s debate regarding who should take out the trash). Remember to be intentional about making this time enjoyable and fun. It’s an investment in the two of you!! Now go have a good time!!! We dare you!